Asking for help is probably one of the hardest things to do for people yet it’s one of the first things that we offer to others. Even if people do offer it we still don’t take them up on it. I don’t know why it’s so difficult. It’s like we have this pride that if we ask for help we are less of a person or that we have somehow failed. I know that I am definitely guilty of this. I don’t like to bother others or feel like I am a burden. I have had so many surgeries and health issues that there comes a point where I feel like I have used up all my favors. I try to plan out my helpers so they don’t get burned out. Luckily we have family and some friends that still offer to help and who don’t even wait to be asked. 

I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day and we talked about needing help. She recently had an injury and wasn’t  able to use her arm. She said that she never needed help like this before and now that she has if she knows someone that needs help she isn’t going to wait to see if they need help she is just going over to help. I think that if you have never needed help that you never will know how appreciated it is. It’s usually those that have needed help that will be the ones to help without offering or being asked. People often think of the things to help with like meals and rides which are so helpful. They are also the easiest to ask for. Other things that people have done for me that I have appreciated immensely that aren’t so easy to ask for are picking up the house, doing laundry, coming by to visit, calling to check on me or even sending messages. 

Being in this situation and unable to do my usual routine can become very frustrating and lonely. I sit at home all day with no one around to talk to. People work during the day and are busy at night. I also think that people don’t realize how lonely it is and think that they don’t want to bother me or that I have plenty of visitors. In my case there are never too many visitors or phone calls. I know that I also feel bad and guilty for all that Jason and even my kids have had to take on during these last four years. It’s nothing I will ever be able to repay to them and I know that they don’t look at it like that but it doesn’t stop me from feeling that way.

 I never imagined that life would turn out this way. I can only hope and pray that one day it will get better and that I can hopefully help others out as much as they have helped me. You would think that I would be used to it after dealing with it so many times but I don’t. I’m grateful for all that I have though and I know that God has a reason for all of it so that keeps me going. Thank you to all of the people that have helped me and my family throughout the years. It means more than you will ever know.